"Bubble Gum Mass"

Bubble-gum blowing,
at intervals popping
rather poor showing
but instead of stopping

the man dressed like Barney
with a gold and white stole
keeps making a blarney
'bout the peace of the soul

In the name of Creator
Redeemer and Spirit
now we must pray for
those not here to hear it

Still bubble gum blowing
with iPods now showing
the people are going
Yet Barney's not slowing

He winds up his sermon
In typical keeping
Can't hear a word in
the church, all are sleeping

And now starts the dancing
With singing and praise
The white streamers prancing
My head in a daze

Oh bubble gum blowing
with game boys humming
for the Creed forgoing
but guitars yet strumming

We stand and we sit
but we cannot kneel,
we'll laugh and throw fits
but we're never genteel

Barney wants us to clap
to cheer and to squeal
he's a right jolly chap
he wants us to feel

Bubble gum blowing
with text messages winging
tantrums kids throwing
and cell phones are ringing

We have grape juice to drink
with our wonder bread snack
God forbids us to think
about this most vile attack

It's I love you,
and you love me
we're all a happy family
at the bubble gum blowing
and cereal throwing,
mass of Barney the clown